My Prayer?

Just a new writing. Don’t read too much into it, or do. Of course, I like it, because I wrote it – which isn’t true, cause usually I am my own worst critic.  And even as I read this, I notice some things I could/should/might change.  But I won’t.  For now.  For example, the ending stanza was going to end with – I think – , but I didn’t want to leave it there, so I added the next few lines.  It gave it a happier ending – but even now I don’t know if it needed the happier ending considering what was said beforehand.  But oh well, nothing’s perfect.
It is what it is…a piece called “My Prayer? I Think”. Hope you like it, or hate it, or it makes you think…let me know what you do think…

MY PRAYER? I THINK

What I see
I don’t like
What I hear
Is inane babbling
Psycho-feel-good-babble
The focus is wrong
The message is twisted
The substance a mere whisper

And yet I smile
I want to say give me poor
Tired
Huddled
Dirty masses
Longing to be free but struggling to make it through a day
I want to say

I keep quiet though
Cause I don’t know if I really mean that
Truly mean that

Or do I say that so someone will look at me
And smile
And marvel
At me
Because of what I say
Only because what I say

Poor, tired, and dirty
Who likes that?
Who wants that?
Give me that and I become poor, tired, and dirty
(Or should I say I become poorer, tireder, and dirtier)
Who longs for that?
Who wants that, really?
Do I?

I may be wrong, completely wrong, lying to myself
You may be right
But I believe that I don’t like what I see
I don’t like what I hear
To me it is surface deep pragmatism leading to nowhere
But I may be wrong
So even if my desires are simply desires to be different
And are not based on any higher calling
So be it
Let me be different, I think

I think
Think
I would rather be different and alone
Than assimilated with a bunch of ear-tickled friends
Congratulating ourselves on what we have become
And what we have done
When all we have done is what everyone else has done
Nothing

So this I pray…I think…

Lord, let me be different
Even if it means being alone
I think
Or better yet, because I am weak
Let me be different, surrounded by others who are different
And let those who are different, myself included
Make a difference
A difference that is dirty, messy, tired…
And real

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